maybe i'll get into depression one day.

i always thought i was so fortunate..

yes indeed! im VERY fortunate compared to many others and to my brothers too.. everything looked so perfect on stage that u forgot about things that happened behind the scenes.

life is indeed unfair. why are they so immature while their elder siblings are sooo much better? because they lack care? because they lack family love? or wad? i really dunno. it's bias to start with.

why everything revolves around money? yes. u cant buy money with happiness. but money is the ultimate cause of ALMOST everything... almost. the fear when u feel that nobody is with u. u have tried your best but it's beyond your means. u felt helpless. u can do nothing. I DONT UNDERSTAND! just sit there and cry?

it hurts. why is he so naughty that other ppl have to help slap him to keep him quiet? even his parents wun do that. why? why? and why is the elder brother like that too? blame the elder brother. blame his mother. blame his father. blame grandparents.. IS THAT THE WAY TO TEACH A IMMATURE KID?

all the jabbering i listened.. i tried to ignore. i tried to avoid. pretend i didnt hear. who cares? deep down inside im crying. im just not happy with certain things. i've my opinion too.. tho it's hard to make a stand sometimes.

something just really hurts to see my loved ones getting so hurt. yup. now i counted.. they are alomost everybody. their fate? how can i help? how to when i dun even have the authority to do so? how to when i myself am struggling? consequences to bear...

im afraid.. im afraid..
afraid that wad's me that u see is really only a mask. i dun feel that.. i like to be happy. yes. i knw i didnt force that out.. but does that means that i got so numb that i felt happy and crazy instead? too long.. too much that it became my character.. hence the crazy me. maybe that's just something to make me live longer..

is there anybody who can sit beside me now and cry with me?

happy family? it's so difficult.

wtf.
i was very affected by the lecture table for the chem EXAM today
3.5 hours

BLARDY..

suffering from neck pain and backache now...



.. another lecture test tmr...
my neck is going to detach from my body soon

i wondered how wc survived.

yohoo!!!

6J02 gathering today. banghao, siewkwong, junlong, yiyong, michele and yangping (+peixin) went. haha.. enjoyed myself today. didnt take pic cuz i forgot to charge my camera!!! omg. sry

went fish and co for dinner. bh, sk and mic came at 6pm den we waited for the rest. yp went MIA. cant get him tru the phone.. lol. he came finally when we had just finished our meal. in the mean time, bh nv fail to entertain us with his magic tricks.. he's really pro. =D

lol. den went to post jl's letter. he bought 8 stamps for a letter. haha.. funny la. he's been happier and more cranky after yp came... -.- unfair! think class gathering cannot go on without him. k la.. just more craps and stomach cramps lo.

my stomach starts to get unwell... aww.. haha. shall not elaborate. but i was better after that.

den walked back home. sk went home. on the way stopped at pioneer mall McDonald's for yp's dinner. sit there to chat to be exact. peixin came after that lo. haha. so much laughters.. wahahaha..

gathering with 6J02 always make my day. =D thank you ppl!

im writing this for the sake of writing... DO NOT READ IF U DUN LIKE WORDS AND WHINES...

i just cant stand people who dun have proper time management.. esp those who wasted my time waiting FOR NOTHING!

wait wait wait... k. im just impatient.

had bad experience over and over again.. frens, appointments, meetups. guess this is the way life is? yes i agree i was ONCE a LATE QUEEN myself. no boubt. i try not to be late without any valid reason. it's SO unfair for ppl who were there early to wait.

the case when i rmb vividly was when i had a dental appointment. i waited, half of my day travelling down and waited for my turn.. and they didnt attend to me AT ALL. the worse is this 'im so sorry we are closing, can u meet the doctor another day?' can i say no? so i went down to wait soo long for an appointment for the future which might end up similar as this? i regret not tearing down their doors...

another one.. waiting for buses.. 1 hr.. i can be waiting from the time i'll be early to sch till im LATE for school. how good is that?

next, today's the second time.. online meet-ups. and some ppl just cant make clear their time properly although it's stated VERY CLEARLY. suppose to meet at 12nn and she turned up at 4pm! i tot she went missing or wad.. from 12nn, i called, msged and did wadever i can.. no answer, no reply. after 45 minutes, i decided to stomp off.. giving her another chance, called and no response again.. so ended up shopping somewhere nearby... guess wad. SHE FINALLY RESPONDED!!! saying a thousand apologies. cuz she overslpt. -.- k la.. not dat bad after that...

haiz...

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! to all the daddys and papas in the world especially to my dad and late grandfather... =)

it's so ironic.. when my family is out at sentosa, without him. and im with aunts, celebrating for my cousins' fathers. i msged him in the morning but doubt he received it. something's wrong with M1!!! and i've got to knw it from a third party that he's sad cuz no one wishes him!!! he must be super sad.. =(

IM SORRY. i think u just need to be more obvious.. maybe that'll do the trick =D

BLACK FRIDAY! haha it's friday 13!
but nothing seems so unlucky other than meimei falling over the stairs. poor him. LOL.

today's s23 so-called gathering. more like having fun with those interested. thank the ppl who went - weichuan, lai xing, wai fun, sebastian, junjie, wan ping and khai enn! 8 of us. especially seb and wf who really sacrificed time for fun today. if not it would not be as entertaining. =D (the andana who said will come didnt turn up in the end)

so the 9-o'clock meeting at je became 10am. the weather was so weird recently that u cant predict. and it was raining SO HEAVILY that i tot i've to cancel the gathering.. mood was quite dampening then. but since east coast is at the other end of the island, we deicded to go ahead and try our luck.. good enough it didnt rain at all. i got sunburn instead. isabella look so roasted now! haha we all had fun la. =)

wc lead the way with his sbs guide in his head. went to have brunch on the way cuz me and wf were super hungry. den we head on to east coast park. played captain ball. the sand is burning my feet! den we sat down and chatted and play cards wadever. den some khaienn left followed by wp then wc. leaving 5 of us behind. haha. fun. even playing scissors paper stone would be fun! amazing eh.

just some pics for entertainment.. =)
(most are restricted to public cuz i promise not to dispaly them so get it from me ya. haha)


slping the moment we reached


monkey!!! yes. it's noon.


khaienn choosing who to die next turn!! haha evil murderer.


see how strong the wind is!


me and wf! haha. she stayed tru the whole event. really appreciate =D

i love the air at east coast park. it's so cooling and refreshing. can really make me feel so relax. if only i had my bed there. haha ;)

jj, lx and me went jp for dinner at kfc. den went to arcade. haha. i finally get to play initial D after sooo long.. so tempted all the time but didnt get to play. cuz i tot u must have the card to play. lol. it's so fun la.. and so surprising to hear from the two guys that im the first gal fren whom they know of who goes arcade to play.. cuz it's always the money which makes me think twice before palying... k la.. myabe once in a while. =D

fun fun fun!!! awwww... must start to mug liao!!!!!!!

nothing seems to be right

ALL WRONG!

wahahha.. i seriously think i've got serious MOOD SWING.

cuz im super high now. i think the christmas song 'my fav things' is very true.. 'i simply remember my favourite things and then i dun feel so bad.'

anw, teresa postponed our date today. so am at home and decide to do something to kill time.

went out to jog with px in the morning, finally! haha. she's finally moving after so long. congrats! den after that we went to mac for breakfast at pioneer mall. =D




hi-5! LOL.


McGriddles!!! it doesnt taste that bad la. but will get sick of it after a while.


drinking chilli. i'm lovin' it =D


take cover!



anw, these were wad i did out of boredom:

my ah ma happened to give me a packet of big big pieces of seaweed so i decided to do this.. =D (did this yesterday)


PIKA!! i used jl's colour pencils. nice?



and i made dinner today!! woots great achievement. =DDDDD
my fav MEE HOON KWAY!


WAHAHAHHA..
=))

this is wad..







































...i dont want and dont like to be

ihatemyself

+ grp II element..

this is the amount of work i have to complete..
wish me luck =)

PIKACHU! I CHOOSE YOU!

haha. im super happy today, no other words to describe. cuz i went to watch the 3pm pokemon showtime at marina square! woots. i went back again! pikachu just made my day. =D not forgetting the guys who accompanied me too. thanks ly, jj and lx. must have bore u guys off. =\


POKEMON stage. i got a good view ehh.


dancing~~. pika's short hands makes it dance till soo cute.


snapshot time!! too bad i cant enter =(

omg the video seems to take forever to load... so sorry if it's not uploaded.

anw, the video is pokemon dancing. u wun be interested la. but pikachu is super cute!!

haha. they went to have lunch while i was watching.. den my sis came to look for me for my jacket.. (if u are wondering why was she there is cuz she went there with her frens but her fren is going home liao) so im freezing cuz the weather today is super cold. she joined us for a while den left. dun quite like the idea of shopping with guys tho..

wanted to play pool but too ex. so played arcade. it's sooo long since i last played in arcade. haha. i played parapara.. ehh.. i dun like the way those ah lians looked at me while i was playing.. keep distracting me. wth. so wad if u are better? im there to play and i paid.. boo. nvm so went to play bishybashy.. lousy tho.. daytona - ok la.. im 2nd! with jj 1st and lx 3rd(or last) =DD

jj went off leaving 3 of us for dinner. 2 actually cuz ly decide to go on diet (not true) den walked ard before going home.

ly splitted the dessert into halves... LOL.

haha.. i decide to be good and shall not comment!!! =DD

dear s23, we are going to east coast park nxt friday 13/6.
pls make urself free. we are going there for picnic, kite-flying, cycling and all we can do there la. juz a day to relax.
tell me if anybody is very against going out on friday 13.
after that go for dinner lo tgt lo. rmb to bring extra clothes.

heh.

i think my life is quite screwed up recently. i've been slping late or rather super early lo.

this week - school week ba. and erm.. quite lazy. cant wake up so decided to be late for lecture, in the end wasnt really late lo. haha. i think i can manage my time better. lol. im a bad student.

eh. and my maid asked me how to cook fish! hmm.. i haven cook fish in my life yet.

i've got so many things undone! and i keep forgetting. poor memory. ya. and i forgot to write my list of wad to do! that's the worst. im blank to do work now.

went for supper with yp and px yesterday nite.

oh ya.. 6J gathering! let's have dinner nxt weekend. venue i haven really decide.

and ms ho... i think she's too busy that she cant meet us.





im jus sad.. frustrated.. depressed..
...
im juz not happy with the way u treat her. and pls. dun go overboard! she might be wrong in some way. pls dun say u're nothing wrong. it's already wrong when u decided to make a havoc out of it. if she dies of heart attack one day cuz of u, im going to hate u forever.
...
and you! pls be more responsible can? i dun like ur attitude! and pls take care of ur mum! she's quite weak. she cant tolerate agitation...
...
and you.. i dunno wad to comment.. it's all ur fault
...
and isabella, you are useless!
...

is playing a tooth for a tooth fun?

i really dun wish to care...
i hate this me...

had so-called 6J gathering today, with yp, px and mic. met for DINNER cum SUPPER.. so wad we did was to eat eat and eat... fat liao.

cant think of a place to eat so we settled our dinner at jp. i owe yp a treat..
had subway. joke all along. yep. i just love to be happy and laughing. thanks for making my day =)

den walked ard jp.. toys'r'us where we had lots of fun.. DOLLS!! are so scary!! especially those with eyes that can close.. eeeeeeeeeeeeeek. 'BABY ALIVE' they called it. and pikachu is not GEISHA!! dots.

den went to eat ice cream at swensens. topless 5. and the uncle sitting beside keep looking at us. cuz we were too hilarious? or too noisy? but he started giggling when we took out all our coins for the bill. LOL.

den decide to head home. went to bus interchange but changed mind and walked home instead. stopped by the blk 600+ and had our supper. we shared a bowl of century egg porridge, a plate of wanton noodle and a plate of chapalang ngoh hiong.

continue walking home.

but i dun want to


IRRITATING!!!
haiz... why?